Barrage

1. Usually I'm so worn out from a week of teaching that I just either collapse during the weekend or get really agitated because I don't know what to do with my free time. I realize that I am at risk for being a really boring person, and also that this does nothing to help me meet new people.

2. I need a vacation. Maybe Montreal or Iceland? Even a stay-cation?

3. My new therapist is super cool. I like that she doesn't try to re-traumatize me. She talks to me about Buddhist things and Buddhist ideas and gives me books to read. I don't have to re-live every bad thing that's every happened. She's helping me find my boundaries so that I don't get taken for a ride every time I interact with my family.

4. I still struggle with my (lack of concrete) sexual orientation. When a gross guy (former student) hits on you to the point of harassment and then asks you point blank why you won't sleep with him, what do you say? "I find your greasy hair, pushy manner, and disheveled appearance unattractive?" And when he asks you point blank if the reason you don't like him is that you're a lesbian, what do you say? "Um I like guys... sometimes... if they're kind and clean and physically fit..." (which is the same I would ask of a woman, but these people seem hard to find!) I figure that if I'm 30 and I still don't know exactly what my orientation is, then I probably don't have one. Or I'm picky bisexual, who knows. Why can't I be free to like the people I like? Who cares if I like certain women and certain men?

5. ughhhhhh I don't want to teach tomorrow. I need a break.